friENDship

I always thought our friendship was realest,

I know your secret and you know mine,

We talk about random things daily,

The fact that we talk almost every day and never get sick of each other.

But as time goes by, we realize that we are getting farther from each other,

Yet we think that is normal, that what adult do or so I think,

I never questioned you spend your weekend with your other friend,

Cause you are not obligated only to me,

But when I decided to hang out with my friend, I was at fault.

We no longer share our secret,

we tell other people as if we judged each other secret.

I never know the true reason you decided that I’m no longer worthy of your friendship,

Where my defense is just pointless to you.

Pointless?

I never knew one word could break my heart that much,

The fact that I was not at my best condition throughout my degree life,

That one word hurt more than anything,

It hurt more than having a gastric and waited for almost

 3 hours to get medication.

Do you know how much I struggle to forget everything you said?

Yet one day, you suddenly barged in my life asking forgiveness,

It must be hurt for you huh, but did you know how much I was affected.

I wanted to tell the same thing, it was pointless to ask for forgiveness now,

But I never did, know why? Because I still care, I need to get rid of empathy.

One problem, I care too much for the people that think I was never worth of their time.

I remember every small details, which hurt me every time I see thing that remind of you.

I wish one day I will able to forget everything,

Like our friendship never existed in my life,

So that everything will be fine,

So that my first day in my diploma life is no longer you introducing yourself with some much enthusiastic,

But thank you for showing that friendship doesn’t last long,

For showing that, no matter how many secret or how you always be there is not a guarantee we will be friend forever.

Thank you for everything, I hope you happy with your new life and I’m happy with my life.

Good Bye for real now, may we never see each other again.